


Five coconuts, a melon, five vending machines, togusa's van, and the milky way

by Rukazaya



Series: [Durarara!!] Shizuo x Izaya (and alternates) drabbles and one shots [25]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack, Fisting, M/M, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukazaya/pseuds/Rukazaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo shoving izaya five coconuts, a melon, five vending machines, togusa’s van, the milky way and the tip of Shizuo’s cock into his ass</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five coconuts, a melon, five vending machines, togusa's van, and the milky way

**365 Challenge #52**

**Pairing:**  Shizuo x Izaya

 **Type:**  Crack  
 **Rated:**  R? T?

 **Prompt:<http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0r5z3HFIo1qcvpfjo1_500.jpg>**  a fic about shizuo shoving izaya five coconuts, a melon, five vending machines, togusa’s van, the milky way and the tip of Shizuo’s cock into his ass 

 

——

 

 

“Don’t you _dare_ , Shizu-chan!”

Izaya moaned and writhed as Shizuo fingered him… with his gloved hand. Gloves that whisped around like shadowy smoke. 

“At least have the decency to use a condom!”

“I don’t have one,” was Shizuo’s smooth reply. But then he paused. “I wonder if we can use this instead then…” Shizuo pulls out the glove he ‘borrowed’ from Celty. Sure enough, it shifted and changed sizes… 

“H-hey, w-what are you…?” Izaya tried to turn around but Shizuo had pushed him down on the bed again on all fours as the debt collector shoved the smoky shadow inside Izaya’s tight ass.

“Stay still. Look, I’ll even prep you.”

“How the fuck are you planning to prep me without a lub— ooh!” Izaya shuddered as he felt a digit breach inside him. He clung to the bed sheets as his legs trembled, slowly feeling more and more of…

“What the hell? Flea, I knew you slept around but didn’t think you were  _this_  loose!” The blond in the bartender clothes tsked as if unhappy about the informant’s ‘loose’ ass. 

Because Shizuo’s entire  _fist_  went inside Izaya perfectly fine.

“I don’t fucking sleep around you fucking proto- aaah!” Izaya gasped when he felt something bigger slip inside him. 

“Huh… I don’t think it’s possible to fit an arm inside a male’s ass… is there?” was the casual reply from the informant’s behind.

“A WHAT?!!!!!!!” Izaya jerked and tried to stand up.

“Oh hey, stop moving around. This is pretty neat. Didn’t think you can… wait one second, don’t go anywhere.” Shizuo took out the handcuffs he sometimes used on Izaya, (because the damn louse was a masochist, not at all because  _he_  was a sadist. Nope no way) and handcuffed the raven to the bed. 

“Hey! Take this off of me you damn protozoan! What the- what are you planning now?!”

“Seeing exactly how ‘loose’ you are, you damn flea. So you’ve been sleeping around huh?” Shizuo remained calm. He knew Izaya didn’t sleep around but it was always easier to handle Izaya when he was riled up. 

Sure enough, Izaya sprouted some non-sense sophisticated sounding verbal abuses that Shizuo ignored because… he didn’t know what those words meant.  

But all too soon, Izaya froze when Shizuo came back with… armful of arsenals at his disposal for his ‘experiment’ with the forever-stretching vortex of a condom he had just found.

“Now then. Bend over.” Shizuo smirked as he picked up five coconuts, a melon, five vending machines, togusa’s van and whatever else that could be in this universe for his test.

“W-wait. Shi-Shizu-chan? I’m sorry. I take it back! Let me go! SHIZU-CHAN!”

-the end. Enjoy the crack. ( i don’t even know what this is anymore. enjoy the cracky mental image of mine when i saw the prompt)


End file.
